“OMG YES!” I
squealed in delight as I opened the first letter in my mailbox. I am going to
perform during Childrens’ Day on stage, with the girl of my dreams!!! She was
an average girl, average looks, average results, but I really don’t know how
and why did I fall under her spell… She had been my crush for 2 years, but I
did not dare to speak up, fearing rejection. What I was oblivious to, was that
she also had the same feelings for me, but was waiting for me to confess first.
Only if I knew…
I was supposed
to be the violin accompaniment for her as she plays the piano, and I have
practised over and over again, the song which I am supposed to play. I am
striving to do a good job on this one, not just to showcase myself in front of
the whole school, but mainly to prove myself in front of her.
Finally, after
weeks of waiting, the day finally came. Standing on stage and holding my prized
violin, I looked at her in her beautiful dress and she returned the glance.
After giving each other an assuring look, we began.
During the
performance, I stole glances at her, only to see her getting all shaky, with
cold sweat breaking on her forehead. I started to get nervous too, after
hearing that she did not play expressively enough and there were a few notes
which were out, but I managed to keep it in, showing a calm and cool side.
However, having a fiery temper, I really got pissed off when the last ending
chord was played wrongly, causing a very weird and out sound, and having
everyone laugh at us.
After the
performance, I went backstage to look for her, only to find her weeping in a
corner. However, my anger got the better of me and instead of comforting her, I
let out all my rage at her, saying that she was not good enough and that she
will only pull my standards down. As soon as I uttered these words, I realised
that I had made a mistake as I saw the hurt in her eyes when she looked at me
in shock. Without uttering another word, she turned and ran off, leaving me
there, close to tears.
Why did I say
those things? Why did I have to make matters worse? These few days at school,
she rarely even talked to anyone, even her best friend, Kelly. During recess,
she isolated herself at the corner of the classroom, staring blankly into space
and sometimes with tears in her eyes. I realised that it was all my fault and I
am trying my best to make up for it, but she just remains as she is, a cold
person with no feelings.
A few days
later, I decided to go to her blog to check out what she had posted, but out of
the sea of words there, the sentence “I never knew that the only person I loved
would do that to me.” caught my eye and left me frozen in front of my computer
screen. She had always liked me. And yet I did such a thing to her…
I broke down
into tears.
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