“Isn’t it absolutely
crazy that the person you’re going to marry is somewhere in the world right
now. They could be eating, sleeping, staring up in the same sky as you do,
wondering who they are going to marry as well.” She spoke quietly as we lay in
her front yard.
Her shoulder
gently touched mine, and her fingers would sometimes graze across the skin of my
forearm. Her hair was in a shape of a halo around her head, so perfect, as if
she was an angel. My angel. Her knees were bent in the air, like mine, and
everytime they bumped, it’s just like sparks of love were produced.
And I wanted
to scream at her so badly, that the person she was going to marry was just
right beside her.
But I couldn’t.
I doubt she even feels this way. I’m just a best friend to her. Nothing else. I
needed to calm down, that’s all. It’s a matter of time when I realise that she
was not meant for me. What is truly yours would eventually be yours, and what
is not, no matter how hard you try, will never be.
Suddenly, I awoke,
to myself lying on the floor. Looking back at the dream I had, I realised that I
have been having yet another dream about my best friend. Long-gone best friend,
to be exact. She was the only person whom I actually trusted, after being
wrecked twice, all by the people whom I used to trust. As what they say, the
sad thing about betrayal, is that it never come from your enemies. But she has
proved it, staying beside me, piecing me back, piece by piece, as I fell apart
each time. However, she was gone. Erased by time as it passes on. I don’t
really like to remember that part of my life when I lost her, as it always get
me crying.
The pictures
that she sent me are still living in my phone, which I have stored in a
specific album and hidden away in my gallery, never to be reminisced. Those
pictures which we took together, were also stored together with those pictures,
in that album marked “Memories”.
Although it
has already been a few months, I still couldn’t forget her, as I kept sensing
her presence beside me. Our last moments together, seemed just like yesterday.
Those memories, dating back until we first met, were secured in my head,
although I kept trying to forget them as the pain was too much to take.
The news of
her death were all over the papers, the day after the accident. And I kept that
paper, occasionally taking a look at it to remind me that she has moved on. It
was that day…
“Vroom!” The
motorcycle zoomed past buildings and trees on the sidewalk, speeding down the
road. “Uh… Isn’t this getting a little bit intense?” I forced these words out
of my mouth, with the intense wind blowing against my face. We both liked being
extreme, but this was too much for me to take. “This is fun!!” She shouted out,
with apparently no signs of stopping. Out on a deserted road with almost no
passers-by, I started to get worried.
“This helmet
is squeezing my brains. Would you help me to take it off and wear it?”
I did.
“Would you put
your hands around me, hold me like you’ve never done it before?”
I did.
“Would you say
‘I love you’ as if you were announcing to the whole world?”
I did.
Bang.
Only when I took
a look at the headlines on the newspapers, then I realised that, actually, the
brakes on the motorcycle was broken. She just wanted me to live on. She knows
that she wasn’t going to make it, so she wanted me to hug her one last time,
and hear me say that I loved her one last time…
She was my
first love.
*****************************************************************************
“Will you
trust and honour her, laugh with her and cry with her? Will you be faithful
through good times and bad, in sickness and in health as long as you both shall
live?” The priest asks.
“I will.” I scream
with all my might.
Suddenly, just
as I was going to kiss her, cracks appeared on the floor, and it seems that the
whole world was falling apart. I slipped and fell, through a hole, into a world
of darkness…
I felt that I hit
something hard and awoke with a sudden jolt, later finding out that I hit the
side of my bed. I’m still dreaming about her, am I… I can’t forget her…I really
can’t.
But dreams don’t
come true, do they?
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