Writing For Fun 10

I drove by all the places we used to hang out getting wasted, trying to relive those memories we’ve had a few years back. Together. You’ve left me here all by myself, as you left to a better place, on that day. You embraced Death.

I saw that place where we last kissed, which brings me to think about our last kiss, how it felt, the way you tasted. I heard from God that you’re doing fine, up there in heaven, but are you really? Because I sure am not, here down on this world full of mortal beings.

Are you somewhere feeling lonely, even though you’re in heaven, surrounded by joy and blessings? Because I sure am, missing you everyday. Every single day. Sometimes, I sit down and wonder, was it all just a lie? If what we had was real, how could I be fine? Well, I’m not.

I remember the day you left this mortal world, in pursuit of a world better, I remember the time when you said your last goodbyes. And the dreams you left behind because you didn’t have enough time, and every single wish we’ve ever made, sitting on the rooftops at night and gazing at the stars. I still do that, but the difference is, I am alone. Sometimes, I wish that I could wake up with amnesia, because this memory is too painful to keep. The sight of you lying on the ground breaks my heart everytime I think about it. It’s just too painful. I’ve been trying to heal myself, picking up the broken pieces, but sometimes they shatter too much to be fixed back. Like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you, all the memories I never can escape.

All the pictures that you sent me, they’re still living in my phone, I admit I like to see them, I admit I feel alone. All my friends keep asking why I’m not around, but I prefer solitude, looking the wedding picture of us, hanging on the walls of the living room. How beautiful you looked… In your white wedding gown… I’ve still been keeping it since the day we got married, so that I can vaguely remember the feeling, as we put the rings on each other’s fingers. These have become memories, as time hammers it deep into my mind. It’s hard to hear your name when I haven’t seen you in so long. It’s like we never happened. At all. We once promised to be with each other forever. But after all, there’s an over in forever…

I spend every night thinking about you, how is it like in the other world, are you happy? Sad? Tired? I wished you would do the same… But don’t worry, I will come to join you someday.

Someday, I promise.